OPTED Magazine

Last night there was a heated discussion between me and my significant other regarding the clutter in our home.  This particular exchange involved two desktop computers from the late 1990’s that had been hauled by him from apartment to apartment, and now to our house, without ever being dealt with.  He desperately wanted music files and photos on those computers and figured “someday I’ll take all that content off the computers” and proceded to cart around (and store) two extremely bulky desktops, along with a monitor, keyboard and accessories.

Part of the storage solution for this was to stack it all in the corner of our home office and after two years of living here, I decided enough was enough.  I decluttered several sections of the office and began an organization process.  I set aside  multiple objects to discuss with him, including the monitor/keyboard/mouse, which he agreed could be disposed of.

That was 6 months ago.

Now, we want to get rid of the bulky desktops.  An extra monitor and keyboard were located from one of our offices and brought home, and now we’re realizing that a computer mouse without a USB connection these days is very hard to come by!

He was/is extremely frustrated.  He feels I goaded him into decluttering, when he had those items saved for a reason, and he has a valid point that the photos are certainly irreplaceable and the music would be difficult to find (if not impossible).  He’s also correct that I did ask him to dispose of the “clutter” and while I may have not physically thrown it away myself, I’m the catalyst for why key parts are no longer accessible.

But I have a few important points as well:

• The time factor — he’s unwilling to acknowledge the clutter of this long-term project was never acted on for a decade.  It’s not just last evening that matters, it’s the entire span of time where removing that music was an option that wasn’t acted on.  On my part, I’m torn because I know he really wants that music, but how much could one really want that music, if for 10 years it hasn’t been a priority?!  It clashes with one of my mottos, which is “if it’s not a family memento, and I haven’t used it in a year, it’s not a material object worthy of taking up precious space.”
• Decluttering is a priority for me — compared to his interest in transferring that music, I feel that based on actions and commitment, I’ve proven the dedication to achieving my goal of eliminating clutter.  I know decluttering is scary (I face that myself) but as an individual in our relationship, I’m happier with a decluttered space and it’s something I not only want to write about, but want to put into practice.

We cooled off after our fight, and I did some research on the impact clutter has on family relationships and the studies are clear — it can be the cause for serious strain, if not divorce, when two people and/or their children have opposite perspectives on what constitutes clutter (and how to deal with it).

As far as my relationship goes, it’s solid — don’t worry!  We’ve made up, even though the underlying issue remains, and I recognize that he’s trying.  But will we face battles in the future?  Certainly.

Have you faced these battles, and how have you dealt with them?  I could use the advice, so leave some in the comments section below!

(Also, while it may come as a shock  that (gasp!) someone giving tips and advice on uncluttering may have clutter of their own, I should share that this blog is both an information tool for you readers based on my experiences and my journey as I get my life in order as well.)

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